Welcome back to The Porg Collective! This week: a special post-credit scene from The Last Jedi, my thoughts on the film, and another look at a background character that deserves a bit of a spotlight.
Following The Last Jedi…
KYLO: So he’s gone.
KYLO: Good. He was the worst.
REY: He was the best!
KYLO: Do you know how long I’ve followed him? Worshipped him? And he ends it like this?
REY: He ended it the only way he could.
KYLO: He ended it the way he wanted to. He had no respect for me and how I needed it to end.
REY: What did you expect? Him to come to you lightsaber blazing and show off his amazing twirly skills?
REY: So now you’re throwing this all away and burning your Jedi Academy clothes as an exorcism because things didn’t go your way.
KYLO: How did you know that?
REY: Um, the Force? Also someone screencapped you.
KYLO: General Hux.
REY: So are you really going to give all this up over a couple of things not going your way?
KYLO: Maybe I’ll become a stable boy.
REY: They’d need a never-ending supply of brooms.
KYLO: How dare you bring humour into this!
REY: The light balances the darkness. Don’t you remember Jar Jar stepping in poo?
KYLO: Fair point.
REY: So was that true about my parents?
KYLO: Totally. As much as I wanted it to be different.
KYLO: Because my family line is the most powerful in the galaxy and only we should be allowed to be Jedi. Also that brief moment when we fought together was radical.
REY: Hmm, true. Don’t you think the Force should be a bit more inclusive?
KYLO: Um, no. And don’t you dare bring up that stupid Rose.
REY: She has just as much right to be in this fight as you do, perhaps even more. The Skywalker story has been going for generations, maybe it’s time for a different angle.
REY: Oh give me a break. So what are you up to now?
KYLO: I have petitioned the Whills to take the galaxy back to the time unit just after Starkiller Base.
REY: Mate, I think you need to have a chat with your mum.
KYLO: She won’t answer my comms.
REY: Funny that.
KYLO: It doesn’t matter. None of this does. In two years I will be taking my rightful place as the ruler of the galaxy.
REY: That’s a long time away. What are you going to do between now and then?
KYLO: I don’t know. Want to catch a movie?
REY: Yeah okay. How about Avengers?
KYLO: It’s not out yet.
REY: Can’t you petition your Whills?
KYLO: Oh shut up.
REY: So who was Snoke really?
KYLO: Tay Vanis.
KYLO: I knew you weren’t a true fan…
Thoughts on TLJ
It’s usually a good sign when you have so many liking and hating a film, although this is probably the most venomous reaction yet for a Star Wars film, which is saying something considering the three prequels. I loved it, I thought it was exciting and fun and thoughtful, and really it hit every button several times, especially emotional. I loved the balance between being a traditional Star Wars film and trying new things, and the wonderfully meta feel to the whole thing. The characters were so compelling, from Luke and Leia (Hamill and Fisher were great) and Rose, who was a great new character with a wonderful performance by Kelly Marie Tran, who has the best line in the film. A wonderful role model for girls in a fantastic film.
Our spotlight this time is on one of my favourite guys from Star Wars who had holes drilled in his head and cybernetic implants attached; I’m talking about Lobot. Movie-wise, Lobot was the right hand man of Lando in Empire and was the head of security on Bespin’s tibanna gas mine. His biggest scene was when Lando was being escorted out of Cloud City by Imperial stormtroopers – Lando flicked some switches on his wrist-racer (google it) and Lobot awoke and came to rescue him. He then disappeared from the saga, never to appear again, although he did get his own action figure in the original line.
Funnily enough his name wasn’t even mentioned in the film, and his credited name was “Lando’s Aide”. Lobot was portrayed by English actor John Hollis, who appeared in similar fantasy and science fiction films around the same time as Empire including Superman, Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter, and Flash Gordon, where he also played a bald guy with cybernetic implants. Talk about typecasting. Hollis sadly died in 2005, but Lobot has lived on in the expanded universe, where his origins differ depending on whether it’s pre or post-Disney. Originally he was a beggar who arrived on Bespin from another world and had his implants as punishment for stealing, but in the post-Disney world he was born there and had them voluntarily put in to help the Empire do complex mathematical tasks. Either way, you have to respect a guy who does his job with no fuss while looking like he’s wearing a pair of what people in Logan’s Run thought headphones would look like in 1992.
Have a fun Christmas, make sure you get plenty of Star Wars merch to show off, and if you want you can hit me up on Twitter @moviedrone – toodles!