Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina, Chapter Four Review: Witch Academy

by Rachel Bellwoar

Another weekend gone without Sabrina having to tell her friends she’s a witch. The Spellmans aren’t half bad at this avoiding stuff thing but right now I could use a little clarifying myself. Is Sabrina enrolling at the Academy? If so, why is she still attending Baxter High? And does that mean it’s going to be a weekend school, because there’s not going to be a farm expo every weekend that Sabrina can lie about?

Diyah Pera/Netflix

And the lies are getting noticeable. Between Sabrina almost forgetting her honey cover story, to the very clear difference in how Harvey responds to his crazy weekend, this isn’t just two people lying to each other. Something strange happens, and Harvey wants to tell Sabrina about it right away. It wasn’t fair of Sabrina to dump the truth on him in the woods, but now she has a chance to acclimate him to her lifestyle. If she doesn’t, it’s going to be an info dump all over again and it’s no longer a question of putting his life in danger. Harvey’s life is in danger.  Every time Sabrina calls him from the phone at school (which, color me paranoid, but is that smart?), she’s putting his life in danger.

Sabrina isn’t being careful and either the Dark Lord’s not the tough guy we’ve been told he is, or she’s due for a confidence bruiser. It’s not that Sabrina hasn’t suffered (this is an episode where she’s subjected to the witch version of hazing) but she’s getting away with too much. Clearly, she’s important for the Dark Lord to be handing out allowances, but should they be extended to Aunt Hilda, as well? The details of what it means to be excommunicated are hazy, but the one thing we’re told – she can’t step foot on school grounds – gets broken almost immediately.

There is a way the Dark Lord could spin this situation to look like he’s had the upper hand all along, and that’s if Susie’s uncle, the Kinkle mine, and Roz’s impending blindness are all contingency plans he has in place for if Sabrina doesn’t bend to his will. If he is responsible for these things, then maybe the Dark Lord’s better at the long game than I am which, as the Dark Lord, he should be.

Other thoughts on “Witch Academy:”

Diyah Pera/Netflix
  • All that work cracking her father’s puzzle to take a conjuring class and all Sabrina had to do was let Harvey come over so he could tell her that the Dark Lord’s still hanging out in his family’s mines. No conjuring necessary and no monster brought forth by completing the puzzle herself.
  • While the other Harrowing tests gave Sabrina a chance to beat them, what was the challenge in having her be hanged from a noose? We know Zelda has a history of killing Hilda and that Hilda resurrects herself (another supernatural ability that reads more vampire than witch) but is that something all witches can do?
  • Since Ambrose’s date is a warlock, why doesn’t he explain the situation to him? It’s not like he’s a mortal, but maybe Ambrose doesn’t trust Luke (Darren Mann) not to turn him in for astral projecting?
  • Anyone else find Zelda’s change of heart about harrowing sudden? All it took was Sabrina being harrowed for her to turn against the practice.
  • Also, way to not follow up on Zelda being Lady Blackwood’s midwife (Alvina August). We know she went to dinner at Lord Blackwood’s with her medical bag. Is Lady Blackwood that far along, and what happens if Zelda’s perfect record with babies fails?
  • Hair. Fabric clippings. All those fingernails. Miss Wardell could’ve made some effort to cover her tracks (also, eww, fingernails).
  • The show just couldn’t resist adding a witch-approved love interest (Gavin Leatherwood). Nick’s knowledge of Sabrina’s father makes for a nice touch.

Season 1 of Chilling Adventures of Sabrina is streaming on Netflix.

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