One last convention before I get to go home and hibernate. Fortunately, it's a good one.

I'll be at the Mid-Ohio con in Columbus Ohio, November 28 and 29th, at the Adam's Mark Hotel. I'll be easy to spot, Look for the tall, pasty, clean-shaven guy with big eyebrows and an imbecilic expression, standing slack-jawed behind his miserable table drooling out something like, " ...antarctica...crime story...novelist...face completely obliterated..." Once you get past my repellent surface you'll find that I am, in fact, entirely loathsome and wretched. Don't let your kids near me. The experience will leave them scarred and sour, no longer the dear tykes you'd loved.

God only knows why anyone would want to meet me, but if you do, you'll find that I'm inclined to scrawl my name right on the cover of any comic book I've drawn, ruining it, acting out the same destructive instinct as the graffiti vandal. And god help you poor bastards who approach me with a portfolio. I'll squint at your pages with a rheumy, bloodshot eye, mumbling suspicious imprecations. Then I'll launch into my vicious schtick. You won't understand a word of it. "Central-axis rule...consistent light source...point of focus...vanishing point...arcs of unifying movement...tangencies...contrasting silhouettes." Unending tedious nonsense, interrupted only by spurts of phlegm-spittle and twelve minute stretches of explosive, soupy coughing. And if you mention you saw this message at comicon.com, I'll doodle something awful on a length of grey paper, and press the damp thing right into your bare, unprotected hand.

There's a good chance I'll wind up sitting next to Jim Ottaviani. He'll be flogging things called "Two-Fisted Science" "Wild Person in the Woods" and "Dignifying Science." Talk to him. He's gentle and decent and won't expose you to anything viscous, milky or toxic. If you see him talking to his toy ape, however, just smile and nod and pretend there's nothing weird about him at all. Trust me on this.

You can learn more about the convention at:
http://www.wfcomics.com/midohiocon/[url/...Ho/Museum/8914/
WHITEOUT #4 now in stores
Preview of WHITEOUT #1 at http://www.pond.net/~gregr/Whiteout.html