...due to her disappointment at my failing to follow through on any of my youthful dreams, and my lack of drive and ambition in general.
My wife is kinda pushing me to do the dream thing too, but I keep being too practical.
After I got "downsized" two years ago, (the company went bankrupt about a month later). So I started getting all this freelance design and publishing work within weeks of leaving. Enough for me to think about doing freelance full-time and not bothering to find a new job. My wife agreed that I should try it. She knew it would also probably give me time to do more illustration projects maybe even do a comic. Which she knew was a something I've always wanted to try but never had time, because of my job, (But I really can't complain, one of my last real jobs being the boss meant the Art Director was happy to toss me an occasional freelance illustration job).
But after starting my own business I've gotten so much paying design work, I haven't had that much time for the spec illustration jobs, and I'm actually starting to make nearly the same money that I did when I had a real job. Not bad for a start-up, says my accountant. My wife thinks I should just drop the paying graphic design gigs to concentrate on the illustration, but no matter how much she says she'd be cool with it, I can't seem to ever do it. I'm either too practical or too chicken. That and I've know some of my clients for years, I would feel guilty. And probably worried how some new guy was screwing up their stuff.
Plus, I know full well it could take years of work before making anything near decent money, if ever, and it would be an excruciating task trying to rebuild a client base when I finally gave up.