See, Allen, this is why you're not a professional writer. You can't even summon up the creativity to personalize your insults.
Nah. All the old editors I worked with used to say something along those lines of, "To be a professional
writer you have to be two out of the three; good, able to hit deadlines or be likable. You can even be really unlikeable, but then you'd have to be a really great writer."
That would be because you bore me.
So bored you hang on his every word and respond to nearly every one of his posts.