BY "ACE" MACDONALD
If you've been going to the major conventions this year you might have gotten a free preview of Babyhead Magazine. Babyhead Magazine is hard to describe. It's comics. It's satire. It's cute girls. It's loony adventures, It's Behind the Music with Josie and the Pussycats. No really. It's really a trip through the cerebellum of Chris Jordan, a rather shadowy figure about whom little is known. Jordan makes a living doing illustrations and drawing designs for girl's fashions for Old Navy and the Gap. He's had a hand in a lot of girl's underwear in recent years. God, I've been waiting to use that line for a long time. Anyway, The Pulse decided to let Chris do the talking and explain what Babyhead Magazine is, and why it shouldn't be blasted out of existence before it unleashes weapons of mass destruction on the world.

THE PULSE Chris, just how much time have you spent watching TV?

JORDAN Multiply the seasons of Saved by the Bell by the seasons of Family Ties. Take that number and square it by the number of times Alf has said "No problem" and..... What was the question?

THE PULSE What's the story behind Babyhead? It's kind of a Mad Magazine for the Diff'rent Strokes generation.

JORDAN It's a comic for me and people like me. I've got a short attention span and I like a lot of stuff: Comics, TV, toys, movies, comedy and drama. If you ever bought a comic or watched TV you should check out Babyhead. Go to our website and you'll get the idea.

THE PULSE Speaking of Diff'rent Strokes, do you think Gary Coleman will ever find happiness?

JORDAN If happiness is a warm gun, it's only a matter of time.

THE PULSE I understand it took you a long time to work on this book.

JORDAN Doing the actual book didn't really take a long time. There's been a lot of other work involved, plus I do graphic design work for companies like Old Navy and the GAP. Luckily, Dan Vado and Bob Simpkins were always down. Shout out to the SLG Krew. WEESSTTT SIIIIIDE!

THE PULSE That scene in "Trip Hoppers," one of the short adventures strips in the book, where the giant you-know-who attacks the giant you-know-what reminds me of the scene in Seventh Voyage of Sinbad where the Cyclops dude fights the giant dragon thing.

JORDAN Every one seems to really get a kick out of that page. A friend wants to buy it. Clearly, it's the result of too much pop rocks and coke! Or maybe just coke.

THE PULSE You also seem to be a member of the Church of Star Wars. Are you still a member or have you lapsed, as so many of us have since Attack of the Clowns?

JORDAN It was the best movie I've ever seen in a long time. In fact I think it's the best movie ever. TO POOP ON! I currently worship at The Temple of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.

THE PULSE Are the comedy-adventure strips like "Zoe", "Hitachi Bubblegum", "Zero" and "Nick Azzure" all set in the same universe? Tell us about it.

JORDAN Hitachi is in her own separate cracked out Blade Runner world. Zoe and the others are set in a world where you get to see the bright and seedy sides of superhero life.

THE PULSE Is this a comedy magazine or an adventure magazine? Or is it two great flavors that work together?

JORDAN It's my chocolate bar in your peanut butter. It's sponge cake with a creamy center. It's two great tastes that taste great together. Wait-a-minute...Is it me or does that all sound completely filthy?

THE PULSE I see artist Cliff Chiang listed in the credits – and I have also seen you two hanging out together at conventions. Are you trying to be the new Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker or the new Tenspeed and Brownshoe or what?

JORDAN Cliff Chiang utilized his master mold editing powers and saved me. He, contributing editor Brett Lewis and I end up being an ersatz version of Rog, Re-Run, and Dwayne from What's Happening or maybe a piss poor version of Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends.

THE PULSE What other exciting comics projects can we look forward to from Chris Jordan? There's gonna be another Babyhead, right?

JORDAN "I've got a lot of Hush- Hush top secret projects I ca't talk about just yet. But I can promise some BIG surprises in the near future." That's what all the fancy pants comic creators say, right? I'll let the people dictate what there is more of. If people just want more Zoe, I'll do a Zoe book. Look for voting polls on the site.

THE PULSE What do you hope people will get out of your work?

JORDAN Their moneys worth. I've bought enough comics that have left me feeling cheated. There is so much in BABYHEAD MAGAZINE that people should't feel short changed.

THE PULSE Who would win: Whitman Mayo or Cedric the Entertainer?

JORDAN Not only was Whitman Mayo actually on two episodes of Diff'rent Strokes and in D.C Cab, he was known around the world as the legendary Grady from Sanford and Son. Even dead, he's the real "Ent ertainer."

Babyhead Magazine is $3.95 for 48 pages. Published by Slave Labor Graphics available at fine comics shops, at www.babyeadhmagazine.com, or, if you're really lucky, look for Chris and Cliff at SPX and yell "I want Babyhead!" You will get the secret handshake for sure!