GRAPHIC DEBATE WITH MYSTIQUE
BY GRACE RANDOLPH
Welcome to “Graphic Debate”! This is a forum where comic book characters fight evil in a very different form: the competitive marketplace. A lot of titles are going to hit the shelves this week and – just as movie stars hit the publicity circuit to tell you about their latest films – we here at “Graphic Debate” offer comic book stars the opportunity to tell you, the readers, about their latest titles.
Like many things introduced in the 1970s, Mystique is all about freedom. Free to change the world, free to break the rules, and free to sleep with any man – or woman – she wants. While she’s always been an intriguing character, the X-Men movies have raised her profile significantly. Recently she made waves as a major player in The Messiah Complex
and can currently be seen in the Wolverine story-arc “Get Mystique”. But we
actually got her! Please welcome Mystique!
(Mystique enters wearing her traditional white costume.)GRAPHIC DEBATE: Wow! Our first villain! Thanks for coming!
Wasn’t Ra’s Al Ghul on here a few weeks ago?GRAPHIC DEBATE: Well yeah, but he’s more of an evil diplomat. Like Fidel Castro or that guy who runs North Korea –
You mean Kim Jong-il.GRAPHIC DEBATE: Yes! That dude. With the crazy hair. Do you know him?
Know him? Honey, I’ve been
him.GRAPHIC DEBATE: Really?! That’s fascinating. So, what, you ran North Korea for a little while?
(coyly) Maybe I’m still running it.GRAPHIC DEBATE: Oooh! Nice! But, uh, if you are, you’re kinda running it into the ground.
Am I? Don’t apply your western standards to something you couldn’t possibly understand –GRAPHIC DEBATE: Hmm, the old “perspective” argument, eh?
Who better to use to it than myself?GRAPHIC DEBATE: True, true. Tell me, can you really rationalize everything you’ve ever done?
To be honest, evil is a slippery slope. You do one bad thing, then another, then another
, and eventually you’re like “fuck it”.GRAPHIC DEBATE: You’re already damned.
Precisely.GRAPHIC DEBATE: Also, I’d imagine immortality really diminishes the threat of hell.
I’ve already made my own private hell here on Earth.GRAPHIC DEBATE: Yeah, uh, I can’t really feel sorry for you about that.
I didn’t ask you to.GRAPHIC DEBATE: Truth be told, you’ve killed a lot of people.
Yep.GRAPHIC DEBATE: Just last week, I asked Wonder Woman about her murder of Maxwell Lord and she said she had no choice.
Bullshit. Take it from someone who knows, you always have a choice.GRAPHIC DEBATE: And you always make the wrong one.
What were we saying earlier about perspective?GRAPHIC DEBATE: Another thing I discussed with Wonder Woman was why women kill as opposed to why men kill, and that the reasons women kill often have to do with a loved one. What do you think?
Sure, I agree with that. I killed my own son and left another one for dead. GRAPHIC DEBATE: That’s not really what I meant –
I also tried to kill my adopted daughter, but she’s tricky. I think that’s one of the reasons our relationship has lasted so long. She can take what I dish out.GRAPHIC DEBATE: I’d like to point out to viewers that you’ve killed and/or tried to kill people that aren’t your kids as well.
And as you said, my reasons for killing those people often had to do with my loved ones. And sometimes it was because it was that time of the month.GRAPHIC DEBATE: Excuse me?
I think you’re getting way too philosophical about all of this. What did Sylvester Stallone say in the latest Rambo? “When killing’s in your blood, it’s as easy as breathing?” That sounds about right to me.GRAPHIC DEBATE: Rambo’s a hero.
Not to the families of all the people he’s killed. Again, it’s a matter of per –GRAPHIC DEBATE: Perspective, yeah, I got it. Y’know, I don’t like you. You have no remorse. You’re a killing machine.
That’s what it says on my business card.
(Pause.)GRAPHIC DEBATE: Wow.
Who would you like
to interview? Superman?
(Mystique morphs into Superman.)GRAPHIC DEBATE: Um –
Not lovable enough for you? How about Warren Worthington?
(Mystique morphs into Warren Worthington a.k.a. Archangel.)GRAPHIC DEBATE: Look, just because –
How about Captain America?
(Mystique morphs into Captain America.)
MYSTIQUE: He’s an actual
(Pause.)GRAPHIC DEBATE: I don’t get it! You could do so much good! Like in the original X-Men movie when you take over for Senator Kelly to help with Mutant Rights in the U.S. Government!
There’s no money in that.
(Pause.)GRAPHIC DEBATE: Okay, I think we’re done.
But I believe there is a lot of money in talk shows.
(Mystique morphs into Grace Randolph. Grace Randolph is shocked. Pause.)GRAPHIC DEBATE: Uh oh.
(Mystique/Grace turns to look at the camera.)MYSTIQUE:
I hope you enjoyed this week’s Graphic Debate! Be sure to check out all of Marvel’s comics as you never know where – or how – Mystique will be appearing. See you next week!GRAPHIC DEBATE: Wait! Hey! I’m the real - !
is a comedic actor and writer in NYC. Her upcoming comics are Justice League Unlimited #41
for DC Comics
, Nemesis: Who Me?
new Shining Stars
program, and the manga The Adventures of CG!
magazine. She's also the host/writer for TitanTV's
"RevYOU" which gets the genuine pulse
of the week's new film releases from real moviegoers who've just stepped out of the theater! Go to www.TitanTV.com
to watch the latest episodes. Grace also studies and performs at Upright Citizens Brigade
. To learn more please visit her website, www.gracerandolph.com
, which is highly informative, not to mention awesome.
Roberto Macedo Alves, born in 1975 and currently living in Funchal, Madeira Island (Portugal) is an ocasional comic book retailer, artist and self-publisher. In 2004 he founded the only comic book store in the whole island, Livraria Sétima Dimensão, and started self-publishing in 2006. He has a blog (written in Portuguese) that gets updated almost daily: here: http://roberto.setimadimensao.com/ and some of the rants written for the blog, appear in translated in English on his Myspace profile here: http://www.myspace.com/robmacedoalves .
If you'd like to illustrate an upcoming Graphic Debate column, e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org for details on how your artwork can appear here.