"First I don't hate ALL of them. (You boys at TCJ love to twist words around. Poor journalism.) I hate MOST of them. I have access to most of the alternative comics (people constantly give me free comics and mini comics at conventions) and I've tried hard to read them but most (that's the key word. Not "all" but MOST) are just artsy fartsy crap that a "bored-white-middle-class-with-lot-of-free-time-and-money-for-recreational-drugs" would make."
There's also always the chance that your ability to boil MOST alterna-books down to this simple equation is the result of you having really bad taste in comic books.
But, before I could even begin to guess, I'd want terms defined a little more specifically. There's tons of books out there that are indeed "alternative" books -- books from smaller, "independent" publishers, that would find no love among "you Journal people." One could argue that Liberty Meadows is one such book. Yet you singling out TCJ-type folk at all makes me think you are either not referring to these types of books, but instead, say, MOST of any books that have been positively reviewed in the Journal.
You know, those artsy-fartsy wastes of paper, MOST of which are just bad...