WHO COUNTS IN COUNTDOWN to Final Crisis? - Episode #19 – Granny Goodness By Bruce! MacIntosh Since this is the Holiday Season, everybody can stand a little goodness. Granny Goodness, that is… and you're getting it in heaping helpings in the pages of Countdown to Final Crisis. Your dear old Granny knows when you've been bad or good – so submit to her will, for Goodness' Sake!
If you've been reading Countdown to Final Crisis recently, then you'll notice that the backup "origin" story in Issue #21 was about our sweet Granny: Written by Scott Beatty and illustrated by Jon Bogdanove. This was one of the most comprehensive (and accurate) origin stories backing up Countdown, so I'll go easy on Granny's "origin" and focus more on her "history". However, I'm a big proponent of giving credit where credit is due, so I want to point out that the backup in Issue #21 was actually cribbed from an 8-page story in Secret Origins of Super-Villains 80-page Giant (Dec 1999), written by Walt Simonson and not coincidentally drawn by Bogdanove.
According to that "prequel" tale, before she was a "Granny", her name was simply Goodness. No, really: Goodness was her first name. (It seems no one on Apokolips seems to have last names – just descriptors like Kalibak the Cruel. Naturally, most of the faces we see in crowds in Armagetto and near the Fire Pits are nameless minions: So much chaff to be ground under Darkseid's feet.) Goodness started to earn her reputation for cruelty in this story as she nevertheless killed the single nameless "Lowlie" who had only just succeeded in gaining his liberty after the "Freedom Run". When asked why she had killed him anyway, the ironically named Goodness replied: "Freedom is an illusion… and the only true release is death in the service of great Darkseid. I merely completed his journey."
Goodness went on to raise her Hell Hound, also ironically named - "Mercy", in the service of Darkseid. She killed her Examiner rather than sacrificing Mercy, because Mercy was a more valuable asset to Darkeseid than the Examiner. When Darkseid tests Mercy the dog's loyalty by ordering the beast to kill its master Goodness, the latter calmly killed her dog - for the same reason she earlier had sacrifice her Examiner. Using these actions to confirm Goodness' loyalty, Darkseid appointed her to head his "Orphanages", where children of Apokolips begin their literally tortuous training to become foot soldiers in Darkseid's service.
Despite its brevity (eight pages) this is a superior story, and is one of the only post-Kirby tales to give Granny depth, by focusing on her character. (The perfect actress to portray Granny on the Silver Screen would have been Persis Khambatta, the woman who played the shaven head East Indian officer, Lt. Ilia on Star Trek: The Motion Picture. Meanwhile, for the elder, Granny Goodness, perhaps Kathy Bates can reprise her role in Misery?)
Goodness' loyalty earned her a place firmly at Darkseid's… side – for many years: Many more years belied by her haggard appearance. (How many years is unknown, but several issues have hinted that the demagogue's Lieutenants are far more long-lived than humans – perhaps living for millennia.) In fact, the occasion of Granny's attempts to assassinate her superior have been far less frequent DeSaad , who makes great sport of his attempts to betray his master.
Of course, Jack Kirby's own stories from "back in the day" vividly displayed what a nasty was Granny Goodness. In contrast to more recent plot-centric writers, I am convinced that Kirby's stories hold up so well to this day because he focused so much on character.
As we discussed in last week's Episode of Who Counts in Countdown to Final Crisis? (#20), at the orphanage Granny was in charge of and failed to break the will of young Scott Free. He escaped and with the assistance of Himon – the inventor of the technological marvel Mother Box – fled to Earth, eventually to become Mr. Miracle. Click the thumbnail for an example of a page that shows interaction between Granny and young Scott Free, who has broken a rule by allowing to escape "living specimens" for interrogation. This one page sets the table for all future Granny Goodness appearances, showing her cruel nature contrasted with Scott Free's humanism. (Mister Miracle #5, Dec 1971)
Only Jack Kirby could paint such a disturbing picture with Granny chillin' in her Little House on the Prairie housecoat and bonnet – juxtaposed against the utter viciousness in the final panel. This page comes from Mister Miracle #7, Apr 1972, and recounts Scott Free's voluntary return to Apokolips to confront Granny and show her that she can never succeed in breaking everyone's spirit.
Nobody can deny that Kirby's dialog was over-the-top. Despite the extreme language, it doesn't lose any emotional impact. This image is from the same issue, where Granny's "Harassers" beat the new orphans to break their spirit, calling them "worms", and kicking them like dogs.
The following image is a favorite, as it demonstrates Granny's relationship with her fellow Lieutenants, such as the foppish Kanto. They all make it clear that they will tolerate each other, but it is the great Darkseid to whom they are loyal. Note the subtle tilt of Kanto's head when he speaks, or the lowered camera angle when the popinjay kisses Granny's hand, feigning sincerity. Yes, Kirby's anatomy was often exaggerated, but when inspired (as with his Fourth World titles) he was the master of facial expression.
Try as they may, writers following Kirby have been unable to duplicate "the King's" rich depiction of Granny Goodness' sheer evil. She has appeared in literally dozens of comics since Kirby's Fourth World were unceremoniously cancelled in 1973 and 1974, but the vast majority of those tales usually find her as a bit player. Many of remaining stories that actually feature her depict her as merely the vicious leader of the Female Furies or Headmistress of the Terror Orphanage, but they fail to focus on the depth of her sociopathic insanity. There have been some good stories featuring the Matriarch of Mayhem. Here are a few of them:
Doug Moench scripted – and Joe Phillips and Bob Dvorak illustrated – the multi-part story we recounted in last week's Episode, where Scott and his companions visited Apokolips to peddle the miraculous cleaning devices, the "Miracle Misters" which could sanitize both the appearance and attitudes of the most retched denizen of Apokolips. Here, Granny re-introduces the Female Furies – Artemis, Mad Harriet (here renamed Harriet the Hag, for some unknown reason), Bernadeth (Barda's replacement as leader) and stentorian Stompa. (The dominatrix's dream, Lashina had been killed in Suicide Squad #36, (Dec 1989), but was resurrected for this story by Darkseid.) This image comes from Mister Miracle v.2 #17 (Jul 1990).
This Mister Miracle series followed closely with its companion titles Justice League America and Justice League Europe, in that the tone was more bright and humorous. Unfortunately, this blunted Granny's sharp personality and made her little more than a parody of the character Jack Kirby originally created. This detail is reproduced from Mister Miracle v.2 #18 (Aug 1990): Scott has escaped Granny's deathtrap and confronts her (again) for the abuse she heaped upon him as a young man. Despite spitting that Scott "deserve(d) to die a thousand deaths", Granny hesitates (apparently affected by his tearful – really! – soliloquy) and her furies are temporarily "cleansed" by the Oberon and Funky Flashman's "Miracle Misters".
Darkseid finally showed up and re-sullied the populace and the Furies, sending Mister Miracle and his contingent on their ways. Granny barely got off a good insult, and never even got to torture anyone – so while the story was fun, it didn't put to good use Granny's pernicious personality. In fact, it implied that Granny had a soft spot for her wayward pupil, especially when she and Darkseid have a tête-à- tête later. Darkseid: "After Scott Free lay dead at your feet – would you have continued to obey me?" Granny: I… but… of course." D: "I'm not so sure, Granny Goodness… His insidious word games were getting to you – just as his "soap" affected the others. Better to let him go… than to have to kill you over his dead body."
It's no surprise that the talented writer of two of DC's "teen" titles, Peter David, "got" Granny Goodness, and her mission to convert teenagers to despair. She visited Earth twice around the turn of the millennium, to harass some of our favorite teen heroes. The first was a two-issue appearance in Supergirl #28 & #29 (Jan & Feb 1999) where Granny and her Female Furies came to retrieve Granny's latest escapee, Twilight. When they take Twilight back to Apokolips Supergirl deadheads a ride in the boomtube. When she gets there, we learn that without a Mother Box to adjust a transportee's size – Earthlings (and immigrants like Supergirl) are literally mite-size, compared to the denizens of Apokolips. This detail shows that Granny's hold on her people is tenuous and must be constantly reinforced.
David followed up the Supergirl appearances in DC's other teen title at the time, Young Justice. In Issue #37 (Nov 01) Granny dropped in to capture the group to test their "resistence", presumably to perfect new torture techniques against the young of Apokolips. Here, the writer finally redeemed himself for featuring a parody of the Spice Girls in those Supergirl stories, with a cover of a Queen classic. Granny and her Female Furies chant, "Ha! Look at you! You've got fear on your face! You're a big disgrace!" …until an army of Little Lobos shows up with his own version of the lyrics: "We're gonna smear you bastiches all over the place!! We will, we will, frag you!" Ahhhh… good times!
It isn't spoiling anything to reveal that he members of Young Justice managed to escape Apokolips, sans the legion of lil' Lobos.
On the other hand, if you haven't read Amazon Attacks and you still intend to… and you haven't read Countdown #21 and you still intend to, and you're reading this article, then thank you! Since it's the time of the year for a gift exchange, I'll give you this gift of a…
****Spoiler Warning**** The rest of you do know that after the Amazons razed Washington D.C. for no apparent reason in Amazon Attacks, the final page of that series revealed that Granny Goodness was behind everything…
…which certainly doesn't explain everything about her appearances in Countdown to Final Crisis. Disguised as Athena, she led the Amazons to attack the United States, all the while running women's protection shelters in big cities like Metropolis and Gotham City. It is in one of these shelters that Holly Robinson and Harleen Quinzel (Harley Quinn) met, and have been bosom buddies ever since. Recently, the pair went AWOL during training exercises on Amazon Island to go spelunking in a nearby cave. What they found was the real Goddess, Hippolyta, who finally clued the pair into who the ersatz Athena really is!
See, it took a few months, but DC finally tied Holly Robinson's labyrinthine and uneventful story to the other characters in Countdown-related stories. If nothing else, we know that Holly and Harleen have at least served the purpose of leading us to the fake Amazons. In the coming weeks, we'll be learning the connection between the Amazons, Granny Goodness and the Death of the New Gods, and the resolution of Countdown to Final Crisis to Final Crisis itself. Wow – This is big! (Too bad that guy who skipped past this section because of the spoiler warning will never know. Shhhh. Don't say anything: I want to see the look on his face when he finally figures out what he's been missing!)
****END Spoiler Warning****
Finally! Did you notice who was on the cover in the preview for Countdown to Final Crisis #18? Yes, it looks like the Ray Palmer Atom is finally making his presence known. I don't think that I'm the only one who thought it was going to come a little sooner, so I thoroughly covered Ray Palmer's history way back in WHO COUNTS IN COUNTDOWN? - Episode #40 – The Atom. Take a look at that piece for Palmer's history, as well a bit of insight as to the possible reasons for hiding out for, lo! these many years… and why he has been traversing the Multiverse, amassing his own team of alternate-Earth heroes.
Posts: 21381 | From: PA | Registered: Aug 2002
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oo! oo! oo!! I've got a clue as to what's going on....
I happened across Mark Gruenwald's "Omniverse" fan magazine on eBay and there's a discussion about this very thing, tying the New Genesis/Apokolips war with the Great Disaster from Kamandi's series. It describes an article by Paul Levitz in "Amazing World of DC Comics" #12, and the current "Countdown" and "Amazons Attack!" storylines seem to be following the synopsis put forth in that article.
Basically, it all boils down to whether Earth heads towards the fate of Kamandi's world or towards the bright future of the Legion of Super-Heroes.
Posts: 662 | Registered: Jan 2002
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