COUNTDOWN # 19: "THE Sound and the Furies" BY FREE STEVE CHUNG Last week in Countdown #19, we saw how well Granny Goodness takes bad news. Her Female Furies were summoned to weed out those deemed unworthy as chosen recruits. But just what are the Furies and how did they get "chosen" by Granny Goodness to do such tasks? For answers we learn about their first appearance and their first visit to "The Real World Of Mister Miracle, Super Escape Artist!"
In the twilight between victory and defeat, there is one man who dreams of the former. This opportunist is bereft of moral character and values. He will seek out and prey on anyone who will listen to his deals. In the antebellum of the Mockingbird Estates, there dwells Funky Flashman! The butler assures his master that the late Colonel Mockingbird will issue out his weekly allowance in due course. Master Funky is happy that he doesn't have to work, but would be even happier if he could get his hands on all the hidden money in the house.
The statue of the Colonel makes its customary sound, meaning that the money is ready to be collected from its opening mouth. Each week, the money is less and less. Funky fears that he'll soon be out of money. Houseroy reminds his master that the one and only Funky Flashman is not without his own resources. Reminded of this, Flashman is driven out of his funk. The butler hopes that when Master Funky leaves, he'll sign over the place to him. As Houseroy scratches his back, the master reminds him not to sell the furniture until he's gone.
Reading the newspaper, the butler sees that the latest candidate has just entertained for an orphan's fund party. It remains to be seen if this one will prove to be a disappointment like the others. Ol' Funky is ready to check him out and if the lad performs as expected, he'll move in like a flash. The super escape artist has got some great gimmicks. This profession could end any potential business ventures rather abruptly. If so, Funky Flashman will drink and wait for the next big thing to come along. Now wearing a toupee and false beard, Funky Flashman is ready to face the world once more. Houseroy reminds his master not to show too much of the real Funky or else. Not wanting any free advice, he clutches the butler's throat, and reminds him of his place in this life.
Who is the chosen victim of Funky Flashman? It's Scott Free, better known as Mister Miracle. His assistant, Oberon, is making sure that every bond is securely fastened, the automatic timer is set, and to run like crazy for the bunker. The assistant is skeptical that Scott will be able to survive the rocket sled ride.
With the timer set, the rocket sled is about to ignite in mere seconds. As Oberon heads for the bunker, there are the sounds of ignition, and a flaming roar of a comet along the narrow track. How will Mister Miracle be able to get free with only half a second before the sled goes over a cliff?
FLOWMM! Before the rocket sled shoots over the cliff, a brief burst is sent upwards from the flaming trail. In his haste, Oberon has failed to notice this, and he heads over for what's left of the sled. Even if Scott had gotten loose in time, he wouldn't have been able to jump free, and be burned alive.
The assistant watches as Mister Miracle greets him from the comfort of a parachuting ejection seat. The trick was in getting his hands free to press the ejection button. If Oberon's reaction is any indication, then the audience will love it. With talks about going on tour, the time has come for them to start making money. Touring will also serve to keep them on the move. At that moment, Big Barda bemoans the primitive nature of Earth weapons, and Funky Flashman is taking in the view.
He is reminded that if he wants to see Scott Free, he better keep thinking about Scott Free. Funky applauds at her act, with regrets that he can't use a lady right now, and hopes that she'll audition for him in the future. Barda crushes the gun in her hand, then asks the visitor if he perhaps came via Boom Tube from Apokolips. No, by the looks of Funky Flashman, he's a product of Earth. As he advances towards her, Barda prepares to demonstrate that what she did to steel, she can also do to flesh and bone.
While Funky wishes that he had a gun, Big Barda has had enough of him, and decides to take a bath. Finally, Scott and Oberon arrive to meet with their visitor. As Scott turns to direct their guest into another room, and Oberon heads to make some coffee, a bit of the real Funky is seen when he prepares to kick the assistant from behind.
The charm is back on, with Funky praising the late, great Thaddeus Brown. Scott appreciates that his guest has read up on the escape artist who was the first to go by the name of Mister Miracle. As he studies the face of a man who would risk his own life as an escape artist, Flashman begins his pitch about a mutual partnership.
In her room, Barda is enjoying a soothing bath. If she were on Apokolips, Barda would be sharing a barracks bath with a hundred female furies. The pinging sounds from her side-clip warning circuits are detecting a carrier beam coming from Apokolips. The sounds stop as the beam reaches its target, and its close proximity means more problems than the visiting Funky Flashman. Big Barda has got her defenses up and her fists closed.
She can only wait for the unknown to present itself to her. Within the shadowy room, there is danger, and Barda well knows that Apokolips always reclaims its deserters. Thus far, Granny Goodness and Virman Vundabar have been thwarted. The latest threat have arrived with orders to kill her old friend. Mad Harriet has missed her target, but she vows to do better next time.
All of the Female Furies have been assigned the task to kill Barda and Scott Free. As she prepares to twist Mad Harriet's power spikes, Stompa's boot gets Barda first. One more stomp, and she is able to drive Stompa off balance.
Both Mad Harriet and Stompa take the opportunity to phase out of the opening round. Hearing the commotion, Scott and Oberon investigate, and find Barda in her room. They learn about the new visitors from Apokolips. The battle unit of murderous misfits are each experts, and trained with special skills to kill. Their clothing carry phasing circuits to place their own molecules in transit at the blink of an eye. They can appear and disappear at will. With Barda handling Mad Harriet and Stompa, that just leaves two more of the Female Furies to go. Scott has just made a deal with Flashman to manage the tour. Aware of their visitor's true nature, he doesn't have much choice in the matter. If they manage to lose themselves on the planet, maybe Apokolips will give up their hunt. Barda reluctantly agrees, and reminds Scott to watch out for Flashman. The noisemaker could prove to be their weakness.
The next day finds the manager and client in a rented rehearsal studio. As Oberon tightens the bonds and activates the machine, Funky Flashman watches in amazement as the whirring buzz saw draws ever closer, and wonders if the young man is committing suicide.
Mister Miracle successfully avoids the steel buzz saw. He is then asked by his manager if there's another stunt he can perform. The big bowl is a trap made of a plastic stronger than metal. No bonds are involved and he doesn't try to get out. Once Oberon tightens the cap, a live concussion bomb is dropped into the bowl. PYOW!
There's lots of smoke to be seen, but no sign of Scott Free. When the smoke clears, Mister Miracle signals for his assistant to remove the cap. Aside from slip out of tight spots and depending on split-second timing, Mister Miracle receives some help from Mother Box. She cannot be built, but must be earned.
As Funky claims to have heard of a Mother Box, a shadowy figure kicks a lamp to the ground. With the prey ready, she selects a lash to cut them to ribbons. As manager and client investigate the fallen lamp, Mister Miracle sees Barda grabbing his would-be assailant from behind.
Once behind the partition, Barda confronts Lashina. As she looks for an opening, Lashina demonstrates what her lash can do to a steel girder. Caught in Barda's grip, the Female Fury chooses the better part of valor, and phases out.
Once Flashman has been sent on his way, Mister Miracle and Oberon check with Barda. After hearing about Lashina, Scott is determined to stand his ground, and battle these threats himself. Only Burnadeth, Desaad's sister, is left. With their phasing circuits, the Female Furies are able to track the signals from Mother Box. Scott no longer has his because Flashman took it. Elsewhere, Funky is trying to make sense of the musical sardine-can in his hand.
Scott Free is a strange escape artist if he stakes his own life upon a tin can. As Houseroy prepares the tapes of Funky's voice, the Mother Box is discarded, and its signals are being received once more. Once four molecular beams enter Mother Box, the four Female Furies reappear, and realize that they've uncovered a decoy.
With the Mother Box in his possession, those who are friends of Scott Free must die. Only the butler is aware of their immediate danger, and his fearless leader is oblivious to all but the sound of his own voice. For the Female Furies, the voice tapes provide the best back beat for this latest beating. As Burnadeth fires off her fahren-knife to barbecue her target from the inside does Funky Flashman spring into action. Master Funky seizes the butler, and hurls him into the fray. Houseroy should serve well as a momentary distraction until the authorities arrive.
While the butler receives the worst of it, Flashman leaps out of a window, and escapes the explosive destruction of the Mockingbird Estate. The sight of the red flames against the dark smoke serves as a marvelous study of contrast. Now bereft of his toupee and false beard, Funky Flashman is ready to walk away from Scott Free, and onto greener pastures.
Unbeknownst to Funky, Big Barda and Scott Free saved the butler from the burning house, and the Female Furies. Having seen what Flashman did to Houseroy, they now know that he would have done the same to Scott or anyone else. Their battle is with those on Apokolips and with themselves. They were able to break free from there, and must now find the strength to return again. Barda is a soldier, trained to die, but Scott has not been affected by them. With no freedom in running, Mister Miracle prepares to win his freedom in trial by combat.
This story first appeared in Mister Miracle #6 (Jan-Feb, 1972) by Jack Kirby and Mike Royer.
Thanks to the staff at Lee's Comics for making this article possible.
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