Somehow, a pigeon has made its way into the precinct and it just won’t leave. Jake has created an elaborate plan to scare the bird with a fan and direct it through a series of obstacles and into the safe grasp of Terry. However, when the fan is turned on, the pigeon flies in the opposite direction straight into the fan.
[*Spoilers of 5.16 Ahead!]
Bill, Charles’ doppelganger, brings Jake and Boyle’s quarterly shipment of dietary supplements for them to sell. They’re from Nutriboom, not so much a pyramid scheme, but a conical multi-tiered medical marketing entity. This is an expense neither can afford and decide to break their contract. When they go to the headquarters to discuss their contract cancellation, they either have to pay a $10,000 fee, which includes the coward’s charge, or pay off their contract in volunteer labor. Instead, they plan to investigate the company and expose them for the scam they are.
The two detectives infiltrate Nutriboom with Charles assuming the role of high level Nutriboom distributor, Bill, and Jake serving as a new NutriCruit. They successfully sneak into the company and download all the financial records. When they are about to be caught, Boyle takes one for the team and serves as the distraction. He gives a passer by one of Bill’s patented neck massages, from the front and with a lot of eye contact. Too bad for him, a line forms, but at least he and Peralta got what they came for.
Unfortunately, the records were clean so they take a different approach. They team up with the company’s celebrity spokesperson, Jay Chandrasekhar to take them down from the inside. The Super Trooper actor is more than willing to help since Nutriboom kidnapped his dog and performed testicular torture on him. As Jake and Charles begin their stake out, Chandrasekhar is kidnapped by corporate goons.
They quickly return to Nutriboom to save Jay, but he’s been brainwashed and is towing the company line. The two also meet the head of the company, Debbie Stovelman. She faked her own death because she was being investigated by the Feds. She’s come out of hiding because Peralta and Boyle have come too close. Debbie offers them to return their money if they stop looking into her and the corporation. Jake’s moral compass doesn’t allow him to take back his ten grand and stop the case. The next day, he finds he’s being surveilled by Nutriboom.
Meanwhile, Santiago starts her first day as a sergeant commanding her own set of officers. She has an overachieving, apple polishing, know-it-all named Gary amongst her people. Amy is bombarded with so many suggestions and questions, she’s become annoyed and turned to her friends for advice dealing with her very own Amy. She tries boring him with meandering stories, running away, and hiding, but nothing works. Finally, she receives the sound advice from Holt. He tells her to listen to Gary because he’ll probably have good ideas.
It looks like the Nine-Nine has a new Big Bad for the rest of the season. Nutriboom provides a different type of adversary rather than a typical underworld crime boss or dirty cop the show has usually used. Despite the legality of a corporation, they can be as influential and sketchy as any criminal organization. It should be interesting to see how this story line evolves for the remaining episodes. It was also entertaining for Amy to finally receive a taste of her own medicine. After over four seasons, she finally knows what its like to be on the other side of a kiss-up.
My favorite 3 lines:
Scully: Yeah. No matter what we do, he just won’t leave.
Jake: The problem is you’re thinking like detectives.
Scully: No, I’m definitely not.
Holt: Hmm. Smart. Sounds very easy. I assume it’s been a success?
Amy: Oh yes. It’s been all types of successes. Rousing. Resounding. Smashing.
Charles: I’m really sore from Pilates.
Nutriboom Employee: But Nutriboom doesn’t allow Pilates. It’s a pseudoscience.
Charles: Right. No, Pilates is the name of my most recent sexual partner.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine airs Sunday nights at 8:30 pm on Fox.
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