Not Your Final Girl Podcast: Downer Draculas

by Brendan M. Allen

There’s no day like today for contemplating isolation, the futility of human connections, the depraved potential of the human soul, and how we’re all just a bunch of meat bags. Happy Valentine’s Day from Candace and Ariel. Here’s a double feature that really hones in on these themes: George Romero’s mournfully violent Martin (1978), and one of our 2021 favorites with an appropriately emo title, My Heart Can’t Beat Unless You Tell It To (2021).

These movies dare to ask: What if vampires were just freaky little guys who sustained their lives on human blood? Far from the animal sex appeal of Dracula, Lestat, or even those feral rage monsters in 30 Days of Night (300 days if you want to make it Spartan), these guys are dour, impoverished, chronically ill, delusional, and might bear too close a resemblance to the human beings they’re slicing open and sucking dry. Be forewarned: nothing good happens in these stories – except some unhinged karaoke, which is kind of fun.

In the mood for some actual sensuality? Ugh, fine, but it’s still going to be upsetting. Keep an eye out for our favorite horror romances over on Morbidly Beautiful.

Movies Discussed: Martin (1978), My Heart Can’t Beat Unless You Tell It To (2021)

Show music by Ariel Dyer:

Show art by Brian Demarest:

Comicon thanks Not Your Final Girl for allowing us to premiere episodes of their podcast. The full Not Your Final Girl podcast archive can be found on Morbidly Beautiful’s official website,

%d bloggers like this: